A more appropriate storybook- themed title would have been, “Meanwhile, You Lose 9. Minutes.” As for Willis, there’s no happily ever after. It isn’t surprising that the lure of mining sun- bleached, beach- crusted Southern California for eccentrics, hard types, and put- upon investigators continues. The region has inspired everything from simmering Ross Mac. Donald mysteries to dark, funky surf noir and batty concoctions like “The Big Lebowski.”Also Read: M Night Shyamalan Announces 'Glass,' Sequel to 'Unbreakable' and 'Split'But what it draws out of director and co- writer Mark Cullen (who previously wrote “Cop Out,” also starring Willis) is comic laziness: retrograde point- and- laugh gags about linebacker- sized, motel- prowling male prostitutes in ill- fitting dresses and smeary lipstick, and a real estate agent Adam Goldberg plays called, repeatedly, “Lew the Jew.” (His last name is Jewison, as if that makes it . Steve has an ex (Famke Janssen) and a teenage daughter, drinks too much coffee, and lectures kids at the skate park about not making bad decisions in life — that would be of the avoid- hookers- and- blow variety, not the kind where you shouldn’t star in certain movies. Of course, Steve then turns around and sleeps with a sex- addicted young woman (Jessica Gomes) he’s been tasked with finding, which puts him in the crosshairs for a beating by her ripped- and- angry brothers.

Watch Video: 'Kill Bruce Willis' is Mission of Tom Hardy, Brad Pitt in Hilarious Mashup Film. I Want To Watch The Full Movie Of Boy Next Door (2015) more. After evading their clutches by skateboarding naked through the city — an un- edgy non- gag that goes on forever, and which Cullen might have had in a drawer since the ’7. Steve finds himself beholden to the pizza parlor employee named Tino (Adrian Martinez, “Office Christmas Party”) who shelters him. Tino wants Steve to get his car back from a fearsome local drug dealer named Spyder (Jason Momoa). Steve retrieves the automobile, but incurs the wrath of Spyder, who exacts revenge in the form of taking Steve’s terrier, Buddy. This is apparently some kind of line- crosser for Steve, even though the movie doesn’t bother to introduce Buddy until well after the movie’s started, but if you’ve seen “John Wick,” the last word in don’t- mess- with- my- dog payback, the limp shenanigans that ensue will feel especially undeserving of the man’s- best- friend conceit.

As much as the movie has a screenplay (Cullen wrote it with his brother Robb), it’s of the one- thing- leads- to- another kind, none of which draws on what’s genuinely fun about detective movies or “After Hours”- style wild goose chases. But there are pitstops to depict mostly non- white subcultures — from the Latino gang Spyder runs to the aforementioned prostitutes to the black nightclub where Steve has to retrieve a briefcase full of coke — as criminal and/or laughable. Also Read: Bruce Willis' Private Airport Plan Sparks Lawsuit From Idaho Residents. Venice doesn’t even come off as magically weird or enticing as a creative haven: a running gag about an underground artist- tagger who draws obscene paintings Banksy- style overnight on the side of an apartment building simply refuses to work. In any given scene, Willis flirts with looking bored, distracted, or unsure of whether he’s supposed to be funny or tough.

Mature humor in goofy-but-violent crime caper. Read Common Sense Media's Once Upon a Time in Venice review, age rating, and parents guide.

Bruce Willis, John Goodman and Jason Momoa star in action/thriller Once Upon a Time in Venice, and Bryan Kristopowitz checks in with his review. Bruce Willis (Die Hard) is Venice Beach P.I. Steve Ford: a detective who's good with the ladies, bad with the punches, and wild about his dog, Buddy. But when his. Once Upon a Time in Venice is a fun way to kill some time, especially if you're a Bruce Willis fan.

Once Upon a Time in Venice frequently sags underneath its own general lethargy, and not even the snarkiest John McClane can fix that. When Once Upon a Time Directed by Mark Cullen. With Bruce Willis, John Goodman, Jason Momoa, Emily Robinson. A Los Angeles detective seeks out the ruthless gang that stole his dog. This was a murdered movie, now brought back to life on home video. Sergio Leone's "Once Upon a Time in America", which in its intended 227-minute version is an epic.

Considering how effortlessly his wiseass- badass persona once dominated movies, this development comes off as more disappointing than you’d think. Middleditch, meanwhile, so good on “Silicon Valley,” just churns out more of the same hem- and- haw haplessness he’s known for, but at least his delivery is humorous even when the material doesn’t warrant it. And John Goodman, as Steve’s pal Dave, who’s getting a divorce and eventually joins in on the high jinks, might have just wandered onto the set and found himself with a role — such is the impact his character has on the proceedings.

A stroll along the Venice boardwalk is likely to elicit more laughs, and probably even thrills, than “Once Upon a Time in Venice.” How lazy is this movie? It makes a point of mocking the character of Spyder for spelling it with a “y,” then spells it with an “i” in the credits.

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Once Upon a Time in Venice Movie Review. Another in a long line of Tarantino- inspired, multi- character comic crime capers, this movie stays on its toes during a whirlwind of sly humor, cool- headed characters, and colorful situations.

The absurd plot of Once Upon a Time in Venice keeps charging ahead with a goofy gait, not even allowing time for the hero to sleep. Willis is fresh and at his cool, cocky best, and director Mark Cullen - - who previously wrote the screenplay for the awful Willis vehicle Cop Out - - gives the entire supporting cast a chance to shine. Only Middleditch's character, who narrates, is a bit too slapsticky. Especially funny is - - surprisingly - - Game of Thrones' Momoa, who gives his drug dealer character (who once supposedly killed a Starbucks barista for misspelling his name) a quiet dignity. Other jokes are broad and purposely offensive but carried off with spirit.

Once Upon a Time in Venice is far from a work of art, and in Willis' filmography it's closer to Alpha Dog or Lucky Number Slevin than Red or Pulp Fiction, but it's a bright, sunny, silly movie, and perhaps worth a viewing on TV.

Share this Rating. Title: Once Upon a Time (2017) 6.2 /10. Want to share IMDb's rating on your own site? Use the HTML below. Review Action comedy 'Once Upon a Time in Venice' does nothing to boost Bruce Willis' career (or dog movies).