January 2. 01. 6 - www. Welcome to second harvest. I know I promised to be done with the travel blogging but..... We're done with that and I'm not on a plane any time soon so nothing to worry about.

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Oh except that by . But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Today we can go back to waffling about normal shit. So its summer and we're off to a typically insanely busy start to the year. It's a bit fucked up actually..

Part of me would be okay for the season to be over already because can't seem to find a happy medium - when it's cold I mope around the house pining for social activity requiring the sun.. Must be fucking hard work being in a relationship, related to, or mates with me. Suck shit, idiots. Moving on. Friday is my day the child.

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Everything went well. For starters there was no repeat of what happened at swimming classes the week before.. We were paddling around when I felt a fart; quickly removed child before the waterways were polluted. A challenging 1. 5 minute clean up followed in the men's locker rooms. Ever experienced having a bunch of naked old guys, dicks swinging everywhere, giving you evils as you try to clean wet shit from the floor, the child, your leg, hands, elbow etc? It was a disaster. All that kept going through my mind was .

But back to what I was saying.. Eaaassy money. The day then progressed perfectly. We visited people, ran errands, did the shopping, came home, fed, bathed then put the munchkin to bed. Skip forward a few minutes and I was covered head to toe in vomit. A lot of vomit. The maximum amount.

Vomit on the carpet. In the bathroom. Even food from breakfast came back up. Not to worry.. It's truly amazing how something as simple as removing a bunch of grey pubed, old man dicks from the situation helps.

Am also looking forward to whatever tomorrow has in store. Saturday. There was a solid plan which relied on an early start.

It meant I could smash out all the manual labour stuff before it got too hot however the vomiting episode lead to a bumpy night's sleep so the plan was frucked by 6am. Anyway the one main task which I've avoided for the better part of 1. Obviously no one really likes gardening, or if they do then it harks back to a personality disorder which caused them to alienate everyone from their life leaving time to pursue hobbies such as gardening and/or being deeply molested as a child. The facts are: 1) I was getting to get tired of people asking .

It grows like wildfire. The wind whips up an annoying amount of dust from what are supposed to be garden beds. I began a list. One cannot simply just go to the hardware store. The list was prodigious and went from .

More than 1 hour at my local Bunnings later, no plants whatsoever were purchased. Come early afternoon the concreting had been done.. Oh yeah then it rained like a motherfucker and wrecked the concrete.

Called it a day, headed inside to work on this very update for a few hours before meeting friends out for dinner. Early start again Sunday. We kicked off at the farmers market for decent coffee and overpriced 'artisanal' bread before returning home and resuming activities. Actually got a reasonable amount done - installed the reticulation piping then realised some grass would have to be dug up. Found my ho and did just that. Only accidentally smashed through 2 pipes in the process too.

Tuesday was the Australia Day public holiday and the only day I've been able to squeeze in exercise all week. Got back home around 7. Indians already setup on the nearby oval. They're usually there every week or second week for a casual game of cricket. Sometimes even go out and watch them. But like other encounters with Indians in recent months, shit was again bad.

Suddenly we hear a very loud bang. Look out the window and see one of them scurrying away with the cricket ball which has just been belted for 6 into our garage door. I go out, scream some profanities, they apologise and that's the end of it..

It happens again soon after so threaten to call the cops. Geniuses decide to stick a fielder between the batsman and our house/car. We had friends over later in the day for a quiet BBQ. Had well and truly reached my socialising limit by that point so very happy to stay home and babysit while everyone else took off to go watch the fireworks skyshow. And that was about it.. Alright better get gong with the new update. This sick little bitch is dirtier than something really, really dirty.

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Johnson a pig? The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said . When the pads are on, it's time to bat.- -A customer was really hassling an airline agent at the ticket counter - yelling and using foul language. However, the agent was polite, pleasant and smiled while the customer continued to abuse her.

When the man finally left, the next person in line said to the agent ? I can't believe how nice you were to him. The agent smiled and said . He's going to Detroit. His bags are going to Bangkok.

The young lady replied, . HERE'S WHY YOU'LL CARETINDER DATING DEBACLESI'm pretty sure most of these horror Tinder date stories originated from Reddit so not exactly sure what to make of that. Is everyone on Reddit normal? Actually as you read through you can see how some of the writers were too quick to jump to the a conclusion. Never know what might happen if you give it a chance. Sure you may end up floating in a river but you may find true love too. How will you know if you don't take a chance..!?

Check it..- Started speaking to this guy on Tinder a few months ago. I didn't realise how stupid I was until now, but I mentioned where I worked. The night I mentioned my workplace, I saw a guy walk past that looked a lot like him.

I hadn't met him in person so I wasn't 1. I forgot about it and a couple of days later, it was quiet in work but my phone battery was low. I said I'd speak to him later before my phone died. Que him coming in 1. Phone charger. Yes, this might have been a nice gesture if, you know, I'd actually met him face to face before. This was really weird because he said he lived the other side of the city from where I work. I wanted to cut ties straight away, but I thought I'd return the charger after I finished work.

He said he would be in a bar around the corner, so when I finished I met up with him, gave him his charger and made some excuse to go home. To my horror, I saw on his Instagram that he'd taken a smiling selfie earlier in the day with the caption .

To make it even scarier, for a good few weeks, every time I'd finish work I would see him casually walking past on his own, exactly at the time I finished. Which was a bit odd as most parents love me.

He was just a huge prick and I always called him on his shit.